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Joaquin Phoenix turns rapper, says new career not a jokehttp://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/WinterConcert/story?id=6803209&page=1"There's not a hoax," Phoenix told The Associated Press. "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention."Phoenix's debut performance in January was less than auspicious: Three barely comprehensible raps concluded by Phoenix falling off the stage.How did the audience respond?"There was a mixture of people clapping," said Mike Snedegar, the head of entertainment marketing at Lavo, the Las Vegas nightclub where Phoenix performed Jan. 9, "and some with weird looks on their faces like, 'What is going on?'"Phoenix contends the live show was much better than footage posted on the Internet."It sucks that, yeah, the footage is out there as like this incredibly bad sound, and you literally can't hear what's happening," he told the AP. "It was much better in the club, and I don't know who said that people were booing … because that was not happening.""Unless, of course, it's a pretty big place, and maybe it was happening," Phoenix added with a laugh. "But it was not my experience. My experience afterward was I had a lot of dudes come up and say, 'We really respect you for doing it, putting yourself out there, and going with it.' Because I think true hip-hop heads know that it's hard, it's going to be a hard transition, and people are going to be lining up just to make fun of me."I haven't wanted to be first in a line so much since tickets for Van Halen's 5150 tour went on sale at the Providence Civic Center in 1986...So here we go:Oh yeah, that face has rap written all over it. In the key of C."I like to drink sake/I also like bukkake...""In a bizarre bid for street cred, forner actor turned has-been Joaquin 'MC RIP River' Phoenix apparently had the right arm of a Black man surgically transplanted on the back of his neck to show that he is without a doubt embraced by the rap community and that rap is in his blood.""I never should have said I'd give my right arm to produce that motherf@#$er's album...""Phoenix's debut EPTougher than Tyson broke sales expectations today, moving 12 units, all of which were apparently delivered to addresses belonging to Phoenix's family members. However, 7 of them were returned."Emboldened by getting inked up (with a pen) for his last album cover, Joaquin Phoenix was tattooed last week in Bali behind the servant quarters of his new estate. His new album is tenatively titled F@#$ You Fiddyand will feature Balinese gamelan musicians, since Phoneix claims that living in Bali has taught him to embrace spirituality and turn his back on materialism."  "Yeah, well, somebody's tentatively gettin' shot, and for a change, it ain't gonna be me!""Joaquin Phoenix today said that he would consider coming out of Hollywood retirement, but only behind the camera, to direct his film autobiography. Phoenix stipulated that it would only happen if he is played by Busta Rhymes whom, Phoenix says, could show who the former actor is 'on the inside.'"Phoneix shows his tough new rap image at his 'retirement' announcment.Same photo, color corrected.I haven't had this much fun in ages. And I confess, I think I made some funnies. This jackass deserves to get clowned harder than the Ringling Brothers circus. I may have to expand on this entry.Quelle[shower].